Happy Fathers Day: Daddy, Hubby and Son

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Happy Fathers Day, Daddy

Recently, I forgave my father for his years of emotional and verbal abuse, which regrettably, stayed with me for far too many years.  Through self-awareness and self-love, I l learned not to let this abuse define ME.

A new gift, Forgiveness, empowers me to discard the baggage of an unhappy childhood; and, I sincerely and with a loving heart for the first time in my life can say, “Happy Fathers Day, Daddy, Rest in Peace (RIP 1978).”

1960's (Not Sure of Date) Chicago, Illinois - Daddy

1960’s (Not Sure of Date) Chicago, Illinois – Daddy

Happy Fathers Day, Hubby

To the love of my life, the father of my children, and my bestest, bestest friend ever, I honor you as a father.  You exceeded my expectations both as a father and husband.  There are so many things that show your love, dedication, and commitment to our children.  But, I am most proud of your:

  • undertaking the responsibility to wash our babies soiled cotton diapers, which I hated to do, those many, many years ago.
  • choosing to further your education.  You were a high-school dropout when we married.  But through hard work, perseverance and the desire to succeed, you went on to obtain a GED, which was folioed by earning both Bachelor and Master degrees at a top-ten university.  You did all of this to provide a better life for your children.
  • agreeing to a long-distance, commuter marriage for two years so that I could provide full-time child care for our eldest daughter to complete her medical residency and fellowship training programs.
  • relocating from the city we lived in for more than thirty years, to assist our eldest daughter in setting up her medical practice.  You worked diligently for more than sixteen years to build a successful health care practice that allows our three adult children to work together in our family-owned business.
  • writing your memoirs and publishing a book to record different stages of your life, which will serve as a reminder to our children, grandchildren, and future generations about their familial roots.
1961:  Gonsenheim, Germany Hubby and Eldest Daughter

1961: Gonsenheim, Germany Hubby and Eldest Daughter

 

Hubby's Book Cover

Hubby’s Book Cover

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Milwaukee, WI, May 2014, Hubby and Youngest Grandaughter

 

Happy Fathers Day, Son:

To my one and only son, my Halloween Baby, I honor you on this Fathers Day.  There were times, as a child, when I thought you may have been my “trick” but, I always knew you would evolve and become one of my greatest “treats.” First, I commend you for your efforts in reconnecting with your adult son, Ethan, who I value and love dearly as my first grandchild. IMG_0022

But most of all, as a the full-time, sole custodial parent of your five-year-old daughter, your strong parenting skills dispels the myth about the failures of  African-American fathers.

In fact, you are a phenomenal father.  This is most demonstrated by your ability to easily transition between the dual parental roles that requires you to provide both “paternal and maternal nurturing care” to your daughter.

And, I especially commend you for:

  • meeting her daily requests for a different hairstyle;
  • honoring her right to choose the clothes to wear on non-uniform school days; and
  • creating an environment for her to develop socially, academically, morally and spiritually.

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Happy Fathers Day to the “Fathers” that have played an important role in my life and to all the fathers who may come across this post in the Blogosphere/Cyperspace world.

14 thoughts on “Happy Fathers Day: Daddy, Hubby and Son

    • Thank you, Karuna. Life blessed me with two beautiful men in my life, Hubby and Son. And, I am grateful to have reached that stage in life where I have unloaded the baggage of a father, who did not know how to father, and made for a miserable childhood. But forgiveness has released my burdens. Thank you for following my blog.

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      • I took my ex-husband out for father’s day today. It is nice to have the baggage from that part of my past unloaded too!

        I love following your blog.

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    • Thank you, Jane. I enjoyed writing the post. It’s took me a long time to come to grips with my “father issues.” Glad to have moved passed this. Also, felt good to honor the two men in my life.

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  1. What a lovely tribute to the fathers in your family. Thank you for sharing your story about forgiving your dad. It takes strength to be able to do that. It takes a lot of inner work to overcome abuse and not to continue the cycle. You are a wonderful role model 🙂

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    • Thank you. It took far too long for me to recognize that the act of forgiveness is the best gift I could give to myself. To honor and praise the two most important men and my life on their special day was my gift to them.

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